Post-Secondary Education Stress: The Hidden Struggle of Indian Students and the Role of Parents

Haobam Pravinsen
Jun 27
5 min read

Post-Secondary Education Stress: The Hidden Struggle of Indian Students and the Role of Parents

Choosing a path after high school is one of the most critical and stressful decisions a young person makes—especially in India, where the pressure to perform, choose the right career, and not waste time is immense. For many students, post-secondary education brings a mixture of hope and anxiety. While some have a dream in mind—like becoming a doctor, engineer, or IAS officer—others are still figuring it out. But even for those with a goal, the fear of failure, competition, and delay in success leads to difficult compromises that may haunt them later in life.

Here we will explores why post-secondary education is such a stressful phase, the psychological impact on students, the role of parents, and what can be done to navigate this crucial journey better.

Understanding Post Secondary Education Stress: A Reality Check

1. The Career Identity Crisis

The most common stressor is the lack of clarity. At the age of 16–18, students are expected to make life-altering decisions. Many do not yet fully know themselves, their interests, or their strengths. This often leads to:

Choosing popular streams like engineering or medicine due to societal or parental pressure.
Picking "safe" options rather than what they’re passionate about.
Settling for an easier course to avoid the risk of failure.

📌 Psychological Insight: Erik Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development places adolescents in the “Identity vs. Role Confusion” stage. If not properly guided, they may struggle with a weak sense of direction, causing lifelong regret.

2. Medical Stream and the Dilemma of Time

In India, becoming a doctor requires clearing NEET—a highly competitive entrance exam with over 2.5 million aspirants and a success rate of less than 5%. Even intelligent students often know they won’t make it on the first attempt.

Many face the dilemma:

Do I take a drop year or two to prepare again?
Or should I settle for another career that requires less effort and time?

This thought process brings immense stress:

Fear of wasting time.
Fear of failure.
Comparison with peers who already moved forward.
Feeling like a burden on family resources.

🔍 Cognitive Dissonance plays a key role here. Students experience mental discomfort when their ambition (e.g., becoming a doctor) clashes with their action (e.g., choosing an easier path due to fear or pressure).

3. Competitive Environment and Peer Pressure

Indian society often glorifies certain professions—medicine, engineering, civil services—while undermining others like arts, humanities, or vocational training.

This creates:

Status anxiety.
Self-doubt for those choosing unconventional paths.
Peer comparison that fuels performance stress.

📈 A study by the Indian Journal of Psychological Medicine (2017) showed that nearly 63% of students reported academic stress due to peer and parental expectations.

4. The Parental Role: Pressure vs. Support

Parents, while well-meaning, often contribute unknowingly to the stress.

Unhealthy Behaviors:

Forcing children into streams without consent.
Constant comparison with siblings or relatives.
Overemphasis on job security or money.
Disregarding the child’s interests or aptitude.

Helpful Behaviors:

Open communication about goals and fears.
Emotional support, especially if a child wants to take a drop year.
Encouraging passion-based careers backed by strategy.
Understanding that failure is a part of success.

🧠 Self-Determination Theory (Deci & Ryan) highlights that people thrive when their three basic psychological needs—autonomy, competence, and relatedness—are fulfilled. Over-controlling parenting suppresses autonomy and leads to burnout.

5. Emotional and Mental Health Consequences

The stress caused by indecision, failure, or regret can lead to:

Anxiety and panic attacks
Depression
Sleep disorders
Loss of motivation
Increased suicidal thoughts (especially among NEET/JEE aspirants)

⚠️ According to NCRB 2023, over 13,000 student suicides were reported in India—many due to academic failure or pressure.

6. Solutions for Students: Coping Strategies and Better Decisions

✅ 1. Self-Assessment

Before choosing a stream, students should ask:

What am I good at?
What do I enjoy?
What do I value more: passion, money, stability, or status?

Tools: Aptitude tests, personality assessments (e.g., MBTI, Holland Code)

✅ 2. Goal Structuring

Use SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) to plan your journey rather than follow random paths or copy friends.

✅ 3. Build a Support System

Stay in touch with:

Mentors
Supportive family members
Friends who understand your situation

Talking helps regulate stress and process decisions.

✅ 4. Develop a Growth Mindset

Coined by Carol Dweck, a growth mindset helps students see failure as a stepping stone, not the end. It fosters resilience and adaptability.

7. Solutions for Parents: How to Truly Help

💡 1. Listen Without Judgement

Understand your child's dreams before pushing your own.

💡 2. Encourage Exploration

Let children explore different fields through internships, workshops, or projects. This gives clarity and confidence.

💡 3. Accept Failure

Do not shame or guilt them for dropping a year or changing paths. Instead, help them learn and evolve.

💡 4. Stay Informed

Understand changing career trends. Today, careers in AI, psychology, design, UX, content creation, and digital marketing are booming—beyond medicine or engineering.

🔁 Parental Emotional Coaching, a concept from psychology, suggests parents should coach emotions like stress, sadness, or disappointment instead of ignoring or punishing them.

8. Summary Table: Key Stressors and Coping Methods

Stress Factor	Why It Happens	Psychological Concept	Solutions
Unclear Career Path	Lack of self-awareness	Erikson’s Identity Crisis	Career counseling, aptitude testing
Medical Exam Pressure (NEET/JEE)	Fear of failure, time loss	Cognitive Dissonance	Structured preparation, drop-year acceptance
Peer & Societal Comparison	Cultural glorification of certain careers	Social Comparison Theory	Focus on individual strengths
Parental Pressure	Over-control, mismatch in goals	Self-Determination Theory	Autonomy-supportive parenting
Fear of Wasting Time	One-year gap feels like setback	Temporal Discounting	Long-term vision building
Mental Burnout	Continuous stress, poor emotional regulation	Emotional Dysregulation	Self-care, therapy, emotional education

Conclusion: A Shared Responsibility

Post-secondary education is a turning point. Whether a student becomes a doctor, a designer, or a data analyst, the key is that they must choose with clarity, confidence, and courage. This clarity comes not from pressure or shortcuts but from self-awareness, supportive parenting, and realistic planning.

The mental health of our youth is too valuable to be sacrificed on the altar of competition and comparison. Parents must become coaches, not commanders. Students must embrace the power of pause, accept failure, and remember—a detour is not a dead end.

Let us create a culture where career decisions are made with heart and head, not fear and haste.