Externalizers vs. Internalizers: What's the Difference and How Does It Impact Personal Growth?

Haobam Pravinsen
Aug 13, 2024
5 min read

"Externalizers vs. Internalizers: What's the Difference and How Does It Impact Personal Growth?"

In the journey of personal development, the lens through which we view the world plays a significant role. This lens shapes our thoughts, decisions, and ultimately, the trajectory of our lives. Two distinct perspectives that people often embody are that of the externalizer and the internalizer. These terms describe where individuals place the responsibility for their successes, failures, and overall life experiences.

While both have their merits, they can have profound effects on personal growth, shaping one's ability to navigate life’s challenges. Understanding these concepts can help you harness the positive aspects of each and avoid the pitfalls, particularly of externalizing too much.

Defining Externalizers and Internalizers

Externalizers are individuals who tend to attribute their circumstances to factors outside of themselves. They often believe that their successes or failures are the result of luck, fate, or the actions of others. For example, an externalizer might credit a promotion at work to a favorable market or blame a failed project on an uncooperative team, rather than considering their own efforts or shortcomings.

On the other hand, internalizers take the opposite approach. They believe that their outcomes are largely a result of their own actions, decisions, and attitudes. When faced with success, an internalizer might attribute it to their hard work and dedication. Conversely, when faced with failure, they look inward, considering what they could have done differently to achieve a better result.

The Impact on Personal Growth

The distinction between externalizing and internalizing has significant implications for personal growth.

Positive Impacts of Being an Internalizer:

Empowerment and Control: Internalizers often feel more in control of their lives. They believe that their actions directly impact their outcomes, which can lead to a greater sense of empowerment. This mindset encourages proactive behavior, as internalizers are more likely to take initiative and seek solutions to problems.
Resilience: When internalizers face setbacks, they tend to see them as opportunities for learning and growth. They analyze what went wrong and how they can improve, which fosters resilience and the ability to bounce back from adversity.
Accountability: By taking responsibility for their successes and failures, internalizers are more likely to hold themselves accountable. This can lead to a higher level of personal integrity and a commitment to continuous improvement.

Negative Impacts of Being an Internalizer:

Self-Blame: The downside of internalizing is that it can lead to excessive self-blame. When things go wrong, internalizers might overly criticize themselves, leading to feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and even depression.
Perfectionism: Internalizers may also develop perfectionistic tendencies, constantly striving to meet impossibly high standards. This can create a cycle of stress and anxiety, as they may never feel satisfied with their achievements.

Positive Impacts of Being an Externalizer:

Stress Relief: Externalizers may experience less stress in certain situations because they don't hold themselves fully accountable for negative outcomes. By attributing failures to external factors, they can protect their self-esteem and avoid the emotional burden of self-blame.
Optimism and Flexibility: Externalizers often maintain a positive outlook because they believe that circumstances beyond their control can change for the better. This can lead to a more optimistic and flexible approach to life, where they are open to new opportunities and changes.

Negative Impacts of Being an Externalizer:

Lack of Growth: One of the most significant drawbacks of externalizing is the potential stagnation in personal growth. By blaming external factors for failures, externalizers miss out on valuable learning experiences. They may fail to recognize their role in problems, which prevents them from making necessary changes and improvements.
Victim Mentality: Chronic externalizing can lead to a victim mentality, where individuals see themselves as powerless against the forces of the world. This mindset can be paralyzing, leading to feelings of helplessness and a lack of motivation to pursue goals.
Relationship Strain: Externalizers may struggle in relationships, as they might frequently blame others for conflicts or misunderstandings. This can create tension and resentment, making it difficult to build and maintain healthy connections with others.

How Personality Types Develop

The tendency to externalize or internalize is not something people are born with; it is shaped by a variety of factors over time. These include upbringing, life experiences, cultural influences, and even personality traits.

Upbringing: Children who are raised in environments where responsibility and accountability are emphasized are more likely to become internalizers. On the other hand, those who grow up in settings where external blame is common may develop externalizing tendencies.
Life Experiences: Personal experiences also play a crucial role. A person who experiences repeated success due to their own efforts may naturally develop an internalizing outlook. Conversely, someone who faces numerous challenges that seem out of their control may start to externalize.
Cultural Influences: Culture can significantly influence whether a person tends to internalize or externalize. In some cultures, there is a strong emphasis on individual responsibility, which fosters internalizing tendencies. In others, where fate or community decisions are seen as paramount, externalizing might be more common.
Personality Traits: Certain personality traits are also associated with these tendencies. For example, people who are naturally introspective and conscientious may be more inclined to internalize, while those who are more extroverted and spontaneous might lean towards externalizing.

How to Avoid Being an Externalizer

While externalizing can offer temporary relief from stress and protect self-esteem, it is not a sustainable approach to personal growth. Here are some strategies to avoid falling into the trap of chronic externalizing:

Cultivate Self-Awareness: The first step to overcoming externalizing tendencies is to develop self-awareness. Pay attention to your thoughts and reactions in different situations. Ask yourself whether you are blaming external factors for something that might be within your control.
Practice Accountability: Make a habit of taking responsibility for your actions and their outcomes. Even if external factors played a role, consider what you could have done differently. This doesn’t mean blaming yourself for everything but rather acknowledging your part in the situation.
Embrace a Growth Mindset: Adopting a growth mindset—believing that you can improve through effort and learning—can help counteract externalizing tendencies. When faced with challenges, focus on what you can learn and how you can grow, rather than simply attributing the difficulty to external causes.
Seek Constructive Feedback: Surround yourself with people who can provide honest, constructive feedback. This can help you gain a more balanced perspective on your actions and decisions. Feedback from others can reveal blind spots that you might not see on your own.
Develop Problem-Solving Skills: Strengthening your problem-solving skills can reduce the tendency to externalize. When faced with a challenge, instead of blaming external factors, focus on identifying possible solutions and taking proactive steps to address the issue.
Reflect on Past Experiences: Regularly reflect on your past experiences, both successes and failures. Consider how your actions contributed to the outcomes and what you can learn from them. This reflection can reinforce the habit of internalizing responsibility and learning from experiences.
Mindfulness Practices: Engaging in mindfulness practices can help you stay grounded in the present moment and reduce the urge to externalize. Mindfulness encourages a non-judgmental awareness of your thoughts and feelings, helping you to recognize when you’re shifting blame outward and guiding you back to personal responsibility.

Conclusion

The balance between externalizing and internalizing is crucial for personal growth. While externalizing might offer short-term emotional relief, it can hinder long-term development by preventing individuals from learning from their experiences. Internalizing, while generally more conducive to growth, can lead to self-blame if taken to extremes.

By understanding these tendencies and actively working to cultivate a balanced approach, individuals can take control of their personal growth journey, ensuring that they learn from every experience and continue to evolve. Remember, the key is not to completely eliminate externalizing or internalizing but to find a healthy balance that empowers you to grow, learn, and thrive in all aspects of life.

References you can look up for more understanding